Understanding the Concept of Love

Love can take many forms, from the bond with family to the friendship with a good friend or even the butterflies you feel when in romantic love. It enriches our lives and helps us through difficult times. It is a deeply felt emotion that often has religious or spiritual meaning. However, like all feelings, love is not always easy to define. This makes it more complex than other emotions and may be why it is so enduring.

Many modern psychologists have tried to understand the nature of love. One theory is known as the “color wheel” theory, which describes three primary[i] and three secondary[ii] love styles using ancient Greek terms. Another is the triangular theory of love, which suggests that intimacy, passion, and commitment are core components of love. Other theories suggest that love can also have a mystical or spiritual dimension.

The concept of love has captivated humans throughout history, with philosophers pondering its nature from time immemorial. Some believe that it is a feeling that comes from outside of ourselves, while others think that we have a choice as to whether we fall in love or not. However, a majority of people agree that we need love to be happy. In fact, a recent survey revealed that the top source of happiness for most people is their relationship with a partner or spouse. This is followed by health and well-being (physical and mental), a sense of purpose, living conditions, feeling safe and in control, and being in nature.

While it’s true that love can bring happiness, it can also create a lot of pain. It is important to distinguish between the two. People who understand that love is a choice, rather than a feeling, can better manage its ups and downs. They can see that, while love can be a wonderful experience, it’s not something they have control over.

When we fall in love, the ventral tegmental area of the brain floods with dopamine, producing the sensations of lust and attraction. This can lead to wild mood swings, from the highs of euphoria to the lows of jealousy and longing. Love can feel addictive, and this is partly why some people find it hard to break free from relationships that no longer make them happy.

But, just as a car needs to be maintained and serviced to keep it running smoothly, so does a relationship. The key is not to let love become a crutch that we lean on when life gets tough, but rather to build an intimate partnership with someone who can help us face our challenges. And, most importantly, remember that we all deserve to be loved. No matter our backgrounds, our successes or failures, we each have the potential to love and be loved in return. This is why we need to cherish the love around us, both within our families and in the larger community.