The Most Important Part of Love
For centuries, philosophers, poets and songwriters have been trying to explain this mysterious emotion known as love. Now, with advances in neuroscience, researchers have a better idea of what is happening in our brains when we feel that way about someone. They’re also learning that love isn’t a single feeling, but a combination of different emotions and feelings, including lust, attraction, commitment and affection.
Scientists believe that the brain releases hormones and neurotransmitters, such as oxytocin and dopamine, when we fall in love. These chemicals help us bond with others and feel connected emotionally. They also make us want to spend time with the person we love. But are these chemical reactions all that love is? And if that’s true, it seems like we have as much control over whether we fall in love as we do over accidentally falling into a hole.
Some people think that the most powerful form of love is unconditional, which means it’s given regardless of the person’s behavior. This type of love is often seen in family relationships, such as parents loving their children. It can also be found between friends, such as the love that keeps siblings together or a husband and wife staying together in a long marriage.
Others believe that the most important part of love is commitment, which involves the desire to keep the relationship intact even in the face of challenges. This type of love is often seen in couples that stay together even when one or the other has a mental illness, such as bipolar disorder. It can also be seen in the devotion of a parent to a child with special needs, such as hemophilia.
Still other people believe that the best way to show love is through acts of service. This can include things such as cooking a meal, taking care of an ill loved one or cleaning up a mess that the person is making. Many people who prefer this type of love say they can tell when a person loves them by how much they do for them. Match’s chief scientific advisor Helen Fisher, PhD, says that the act of serving can cause a boost in dopamine in the ventral tegmental area of the brain, which is associated with focus and craving.
Regardless of what type of love you believe is the most important, it’s important to bring those emotions into your writing. Simply telling readers about how two characters feel for each other won’t draw them in and make them truly invested in the story. Instead, try showing how the characters interact and what they do for each other, such as describing their smiles or how they touch.
If you’re having trouble figuring out how to convey love in your novel, take inspiration from famous essays that explore the subject. Reading works by authors like Alain de Botton or bell hooks can give you ideas about how to describe this complex emotion in your own work.