What Happens in the Brain When We Are in Love?

When we’re in love, logic and reason seem to fly out the window. We’re left with a head full of romantic notions straight out of a Disney movie or 90’s rom-com. It’s a time of intense happiness and euphoria – paired with craving, jealousy and anxiety. But what exactly is going on in our brain when we fall for someone? And what does science say about this universal experience?

While there are a variety of different types of love, the common thread seems to be feelings of closeness, attachment and a sense of sacrifice. These are the pillars that can help define what it is to love – whether it’s romantic, platonic, family or spiritual. It’s also important to note that loving someone doesn’t mean we love them the same way. Different people have different needs and expectations when it comes to their relationships. For example, some people may find more fulfillment in a casual relationship while others are looking for long-term commitment.

Biologically, we think of love as a mammalian drive similar to hunger or thirst. It is triggered by hormones, such as oxytocin and neurotrophins, and influences how we think and behave. However, many psychologists argue that love is much more than just a feeling, and is more like a set of behaviors and principles.

One way that scientists have tried to explain love is through neuroscience. When we are in love, key areas of the brain associated with attention and craving light up, flooding the system with dopamine. A specific area in the brain called the ventral tegmental area triggers this rush of passion and helps us focus on the person we’re falling for. This is why we can’t stop thinking about them – and why it feels like their mere presence brings you a sense of excitement and euphoria.

In addition, when we love someone, our behavior changes in order to support these feelings of attachment and closeness. We try to make them happy by spending more time with them and showing them appreciation. We may even make sacrifices for them, such as putting their needs before our own. This is a sign of true love – and it isn’t always easy.

However, when the relationship is toxic from the start or turns toxic over time, these positive behaviors can backfire. Negative experiences such as lying, infidelity and abandonment can lead to deep insecurities that can last well beyond the end of a particular relationship.

It’s important to share our authentic selves with the people we care about, and to build deeper connections through honest conversations. This can include asking thoughtful questions, actively listening and remembering details about the other person’s life. The more we know about each other, the closer we feel. And in the end, that’s what truly makes us feel loved.