Creating Healthy Relationships Through Love
Love is not something that we are taught as an emotion at birth, but it is something which we come to learn as we grow up. Love encompasses a broad spectrum of positive and negative emotional and psychological states, from a purest form of virtue, highest personal comfort, to the easiest greatest pleasure, the most satisfying physical intimacy. This is an incredibly complicated concept, and has many shades of interpretation. I’ll discuss some of these here, and also talk about what love is not.
In order to understand love, it’s important to consider what it isn’t. Love is not a feeling that you get from your partner, or from being in love with anyone at all. Love is a relationship between yourself and another person, and between you and another life.
So, let’s start by defining this more clearly. The best definition of romantic love is “a strong, lifelong bond of mutual love and commitment between two people.” This definition is most helpful if we can label the brain regions that represent these feelings. Put simply, one feels passionate love for one another, while another feels attracted only towards the idea of being loved. These brain regions continue to change over time, as the relationship progresses, so it is useful to label these feelings from one level on up, as “romantic love”.
On the other hand, passionate love may be experienced when you fall in love with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger. Here, you are experiencing strong feelings of affection towards that person, but not necessarily focusing on them in particular. You might fall in love with someone based on their physical appearance, their personality, or their abilities, but you could also fall deeply in love because they make you feel good about yourself. Strong feelings of affection for another person do not necessarily translate into romantic relationships with them. While you do share common interests and goals, for example, you cannot be forced into a commitment to such a person, nor would you think that you could. If you share an affection for a parent or guardian as well as common goals and objectives, however, these feelings can build up into romantic love much more easily.
In addition, lovers who enjoy regular quality time together can engage in what is called the “love language”. This is where you get inside your partner’s head and literally translate their thoughts and feelings, often without them being aware of it. This can be a great way to improve your love life, as well as to improve the quality of your physical life.
The love language refers to verbal communications that focus on the thoughts and feelings of the other person being communicated with. For example, if you talk to your partner about how you are feeling and what is happening in your mind, your partner will likely be able to understand this information and feel close to you in response. They will, in fact, be reprogrammed through your love language to feel similar emotions toward you. This helps to create healthy relationships, because although communication in itself can be difficult, having a partner that can effortlessly talk to you is an enormous benefit. It allows them to share their thoughts, hopes, and fears in a manner that is meaningful to you, rather than just coming across as needy. You can use this love language in all sorts of relationships, but particularly those that are founded on an emotional bond such as marriage or friendship.